I need to give credit where credit is due. Here’s the thing. I write the blog, and people get to know me through what I write. I can paint the picture as pretty or as poopy as I like, and I like that. I’m a pretty honest guy, and I keep things pretty accurate. There have been some times where I have worked the edges of a piece to make it more funny, or combined events that happened over a series of weeks into a single day, but for the most part, what you see is what you get here at Ask Your Dad. Except for one big blind spot that I feel compelled to address.

Completely without intent, and only by the sin of omission, I get far too much of the credit in the parenting equation. Stevie never complains about it, and I don’t even know if it bugs her, but she is the better parent and I just want her to know that I know it… and I want you to know it too. I know, it’s not a competition. But if it were, here are just a few of the MANY reasons why she’d win this trophy:

1. Lack of sleep

I complain about my lack of sleep a lot on the blog. If I was my wife, and I had to read my husband’s whiny posts about sleeping, I would be a little chaffed. Oh, poor John. Never gets any sleep. Constantly complains about it on the blog. Here “Mr. I-Somehow-Magically-Snore-While-I’m-Awake”, let me help you sleep by pressing this pillow firmly against your face. Then you can sleep… forever!

The truth is that I do have trouble sleeping. My wife on the other hand, just doesn’t sleep at all. For the entire time Captain was nursing, she woke up with him every single time. Sure, I woke up when he was crying, but as soon as he was latched I got to roll over and continue go-cart racing in the clouds with Jon Stewart. Stevie got to stay up and breast feed to the glow of her iPhone, reading about how tired I always am on my blog. I’m lucky to be alive.

2. Playing with the kids

Do you love all of those pictures and videos and cute anecdotes I post about me playing with Duchess and Captain? Me too! And I do play with my kids, a lot. If you were to check my logged hours in the tea time simulator, I’d be a fully licensed dad pilot. Stevie? She’d be commanding a kiddy aircraft carrier. 

I’ve got about 30-40 minutes of full-fledged pretend time in me before I have to take a break from the super-hero bake party. Sure, I’ll wear a tiara and a cape, but Daddy can only eat so many pretend cupcakes before Daddy needs to go pretend to poop for twenty minutes. Stevie will play for hours. 

It’s beautiful to watch. Sometimes I’ll hear her playing with Duchess and sneak up to the frame of the door. I’ll lean my head against the wood and just listen to my wife talk to my daughter. She doesn’t condescend or mock. She is genuinely interested in everything Duchess says. I consistently strive to be that present with my kids, and she makes it look effortless, graceful even. 

3. Daily kid maintanence

Stevie gets the kids ready for school every day. This is a scheduling thing, not a me neglecting my parental duties thing – but it doesn’t matter. She does it every day. Back when Duchess was younger I would get her ready everyday and take her to Grandma’s, and really, it wasn’t too bad. Granted, we didn’t have Captain yet and Duchess didn’t have hair. 

Due to Stevie having an early meeting the other day, I had the opportunity to experience getting two kids under three ready for daycare. Aside from having to change my shirt twice, once for poop, and once again for more poop I hadn’t noticed the first time, I made it through the morning preparations pretty well. Sure, the daycare lady looked at my off-center triple pigtail attempt and gave me a smile that said “I’ll fix that later,” but I was proud of it. I know I could get better at it if I had to, but Stevie is currently the queen of the morning. 

She also bathes the kids, dresses the kids, and feeds the kids more than I do. And she works full time. She wins. 

4. She puts up with me

I can’t think of anything more infuriating than the sentence, “Honey, will you put the kids to bed tonight; I need to work on my parenting blog.” I haven’t said it often, but the amount of times that I have should have been enough to warrant at least an angry eye roll. And yet I haven’t received one. 

I try to be the best dad I can be. I am active and engaged. But I fear I may have painted too rosy a picture of what my wife deals with. I am no angel. There are times when I play my video game too long. There are times when I let the dishes pile up too high. Even though my job is the cooking, there have been weeks where I cooked chicken strips three out of five nights. I haven’t done a load of laundry in five years. FIVE YEARS!  And yet… and yet…

5. Stevie is my biggest cheerleader

On the days when the hours between getting home from work and the kids’ bed time seem like more of a chore than a blessing, she brings me back. When I overcook a steak, or under-salt the potatoes, she smiles and tells me they’re wonderful. When she’s frustrated, tired, and needs help, she asks. She loves me and our kids in a way that inspires me to be better, and for that – she wins.  

She’s going to read this and roll her eyes, and will probably come up with her own list of why I win, but she’ll be wrong. Best parent trophy goes to Stevie. 

Like a boss

Love, Dad

PS Stevie wants you to like the Ask Your Dad Facebook page too. If you don’t, she won’t be mad – just disappointed.