Not with the actual procedure… with a discussion about the topic in general.  I know this is a private/sensitive topic for some people. Feel free to click away, or comment anonymously, but I’m really hoping for some commentary on this post.

Here’s the thing; I am at a loss on whether or not we should circumcise our son – a complete and utter loss. So much so, that my first, full blog post about my son is going to be about his penis. Sorry yet-to-be-named-son. I promise to delete this blog entry before you enter junior high. 

OK… let’s get this first part out of the way. I am circumcised. Don’t picture it. Think about something else: a beautiful sunset on a white sand beach, wheat fields undulating in the evening wind, the Washington Monument rising high above the national mall… wait, no. Stick with the sunset. Ok. Better? Good. I apologize, but I think it was important to establish where I am coming from. I’m done with the penis jokes. I swear.

Moving on; I am circumcised. I’ve never minded it. In fact, I’ve never really thought about it, which is weird since I’ve been incredibly aware of that region of my body since around 1993 In fact, I’ve never even seen an uncircumcised penis. I suppose I could use Google to find one, but there are inherent dangers in searching for such words.

So suffice it to say, I was (and am) unprepared to make this decision, which my wife has told me is up to my sole discretion. How come it’s “my” decision and not “our” decision? Two factors:

1.   She’s afraid it will hurt him, and my wife is the kind of person who puts spiders in cups and takes them outside. She has a very hard time causing pain.

2.   I’m pretty sure she wants me to own the consequences of this decision, which I’m willing to do. That’s one “Ask Your Dad” moment I’m sure she’s looking forward to.

Son – “Hey mom, how come Jimmy has foreskin and I don’t?”

Mom – “Uhm… ask your dad… and what is Jimmy’s mom’s phone number?”

What consequences you say? Pick one: judgment, shame, animosity, resentment, loss of limb… pick one. To start, there are pretty vitriolic online communities fighting for and against male circumcision.  Outlying opinions range from, and I’m paraphrasing here: “It’s a barbaric custom meant to inflict permanent religious markers on non-consenting infants through unnecessary, cosmetic genital mutilation” to “You’re abusing your child and should be put in jail” all the way to “Uncircumcised penises will get infected and fall off shortly after giving everyone AIDS!” To “Don’t let angry hipsters tell you what to do with your kid’s wiener.”

I know there are valid arguments on both sides, but this is what it generally devolves into on the interwebs. By the way, we have no religious obligation to circumsize, it is just a pretty common practice in the U.S.

While I have never been upset with, or even questioned my parent’s choice to circumcise, I’ve read plenty of commentary from men who are upset that the decision was taken from them. I’ve also read stories of people who weren’t circumcised and either through medical necessity or personal choice got circumcised later in life. It is consistantly described as a difficult and painful experience.

Lastly, there’re the social factors… I can recall few scarier places than a junior high locker room. As much as I would like to believe that by the time my boy is in one, bullying will have been eradicated, I know that things like having a different shaped penis could make life difficult. But then… BUT THEN… what am I telling my child? Am I telling him that it is so important to not be different that I literally cut off the tip of his penis so he wouldn’t get made fun of? Do I tell him anything? I never asked my parents. I never cared. Will he?

I just don’t know. Like I said, I am at a loss on this one. So please help me. Did you, or do you plan to circumcise your son? How about forgoing circumcision? Why? Why not? Please keep the conversation civil, but let’s have a conversation. (There’s a way to comment anonymously if you’d like.) I know that this is one of those “Everything you’re doing is wrong” type situations, but I’m hoping you all can help.

Sorry again for the wiener jokes,

Dad

P.S. My wife suggested that I outline a couple rules for the comments since this can be such a sensitive topic. Let’s all applaud her optimism that people will actually comment.

A) Keep the language PG-13. My mom reads this blog. She’s the only one allowed to use the f-word in the comments.

B)  Don’t attack other people who comment. Your comment will be deleted if you do.

C) If you quote statistics, link to them or the article where you got them. (Your comment won’t be deleted if you don’t, but I’ll be happy if you do)  

D) Thank you. (This isn’t a rule, but really, I appreciate your input and thought I’d add it.)

UPDATE!!! No really, I wrote an update to this post. Click here to read the exciting conclusion!