Hey, remember a few weeks ago when I set the internet on
fire by asking whether or not I should lop off the tip of my kid’s wang? And by
chop off my son’s penis, I mean consent to minor cosmetic surgery to remove his
foreskin, a tradition in Western culture that most likely would have little effect on my son’s future development.  And by simple, elective procedure, I of course
mean an invasive surgery akin only to genital mutilation and child abuse.
Remember that blog? Yeah, me too. 

So do a lot of people. I still get all sorts of e-mails asking what decision we came to. Some
of them are a bit aggressive, but most are very kind and concerned. So to ease inquiring
minds, this week’s blog is an update to my previous circumcision
blog. (If you haven’t read it, I suggest you start there.)

Instead of teasing it for 600 words, going to commercial,
coming back, lowering the lights, opening an envelope and then going on for a
few more minutes on how the votes were tallied, I’m just going to get right to
it. We have decided to not circumcise our
son.

Now to be fair, the first paragraph of this blog touched on the extremes of the conversation. Our decision was made with the help of the many comments from the center.  We also talked to our doctor and our family and friends.
I even asked my two-year-old daughter. Her answer was something about wanting
string cheese. To be honest, I probably publicized a personal decision too
much.  I’m glad I did though, because
with all of your help and love I know that we’re making the best decision for
us.

A few points I’d like to make

On the original blog
and the comments:

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you to everyone who commented! The original blog highlighted one of
my main goals with Ask Your Dad Blog,
which is to have conversations about the parts of parenthood people don’t
usually talk about. I understood that circumcision is a sensitive topic, but it
was wonderful hearing from folks on both sides.

Now… if you read the comments
on the original post you know that they were weighted somewhat dramatically to
one side. A bit of explanation is warranted.

The original circumcision blog was found and posted on an
anti-circumcision message board hosted on Reddit.com. This brought in a lot of wonderful visitors that contributed
helpful, kind and productive comments to the conversation.  They linked to great articles and sent me some
very nice private e-mails that presented a rational argument against circumcision.

It also brought a few folks who were nearly militant with
their beliefs and thought personally attacking people with differing opinions
than theirs would help prove their point. While I left anything that made a
point in the argument, any comment that was personally attacking another
commenter was removed.  (These were the
rare exception though.)

On our decision to
not circumcision:

I do not think
that those who choose to circumcise are cruel parents, less intelligent, or
even less informed.  I have many friends
who made the decision to circumcise their sons and not only do I consider them
spectacular parents, but I also look up to them as role models of the type of
parent I’d like to be in a few years.  

I do not think
that circumcision is evil. Based off everything I learned, I don’t think it is necessary.
But it’s not evil. Like I mentioned before, I’m circumcised and I like my penis
just fine. I also feel no ill will towards my parent’s decision. I did find it surprising
that when I talked to my mom she mentioned that if she had the decision to make
again she didn’t know if she’d make the same one.  In fact, she said she probably wouldn’t.

Lastly…

I support a
parent’s right to make the decision. Here’s why I made mine:

One thing kept hitting home for us. If it’s not a
religious issue for us (it’s not), and there’s very little legitimate medical reasoning to
do it… then why do it? I trust my communication skills enough to explain to my
son someday why his little guy is wearing a turtleneck. Hell, I’ll just show
him this blog (which honestly, will probably damage him much more than the circumcision
ever would have.) At the end of the day,
there were more reasons not to circumcise than there were reasons to circumcise.
And thus, our decision was made.

It was a personal decision and I am glad I (we) had the
right to make it. It involved me in my unborn son’s life in a way that made me
feel closer to the little guy. Up until that point I had thought of him in
fluffy generalizations like “ooh
we’ll play catch in the back yard someday” and “ooh I’ll have to learn how to throw a baseball someday”. Remembering
that all decisions aren’t simple made him seem more real than any silly day
dream I’ve had. And while some decisions are going to need to be made on the
fly, I’m glad we had nine months to make this one.

Thanks again!

Dad

This picture makes more sense if you read the last circumcision blog.