Dear Ask Your Dad Readers,

I have some unfortunate news. I am John’s wife. That’s not
the unfortunate news. The unfortunate news is that my husband broke his hand
this past weekend. He plays goal keeper for our indoor soccer team and, despite
not looking at all like a soccer ball, some dude confused his hand for one. He
immediately knew it was broken (read: small bones were clicking around in his
hand) so, of course, he decided to keep playing. Because he’s a “man”. And that’s
what “men” do. Men also have shorter life-spans. I’m just sayin’.  Eventually, a teammate drove him to the hospital,
and I, despite having my all-girl fantasy football draft that evening, made the selfless decision to meet them at the ER. That’s love.

After a not-so-terrible-for-an-ER wait, we had a few nurses,
medical assistants, and janitors randomly come into our room. Each one informed
us that they were just “borrowing” some supplies and each time, John
told them “that’s ok, we’re not using them anyways”. Not a single one
of them laughed at his joke.

When the doctor finally came in, he asked “What can I
do for you?” which really struck me as an odd question to begin with, but
not nearly as odd as my husband’s response, which was: “I could really use
some drugs, to be honest with you.” Don’t worry dear, you’re not coming
off as a druggie looking for a fix. Nope, not at all.

Luckily, his request seemed more reasonable to the doctor
when the x-rays came back. John had a fractured fourth metacarpal that would
require surgery. Shit.

My concerns immediately focused on how this would impact me. I’m
a good wife like that. You see, if not for my husband, our daughter and I would
not eat. He does all of the cooking. I run the risk of lighting a bowl of Cheerios on
fire any time I step in the kitchen. Needless to say, the next few weeks are going to be an interesting culinary
experience for our family.

His initial
concern was that we’re 11 weeks away from from the birth of our boy-bun, and despite the bonus of not having to change diapers, he really wants to be able to hold him with two good hands. He’s a good husband like that. Now that we’ve
met with the surgeon and been assured that we are only looking at six weeks for
a full recovery, he’s more bummed about you folks.

That’s right, despite the fact that he is going into surgery, his main concern is that he’ll have a hard time doing the blog. Having his hand sliced open doesn’t bug him. But the man is determined. He may be
a little slower at typing, but with my help, a guest post or two, and the assistance
of the ever inaccurate text-to-speech capabilities built into Windows, we will do
our best to continue with your regularly scheduled Ask Your Dad Blog posts. That,
of course, includes our Five Dollar Fridays (which, by the way, we had a GREAT
response to last week, so thank you, thank you, thank you!)

Love,

Wife (Mom)

And now, without further ado, a message from John:

Hi. Typing with my left hand is difficult. – Dad

Who has two thumbs and gets to have surgery on Thursday?